••• tiff firth photography •••

Thursday, May 20, 2010

keeping it real

This is the LO that has had me absolutely bogged for a number of days. I really don't know why. I had the photo printed, I had the journaling done, but I just couldn't seem to get it together. I had actually started walking past my scrap desk with my eyes averted so it wouldn't taunt me. sigh. So this morning I just did it. No thought process at all, just get the thing done, and out of the way.

The idea behind this LO came from me challenging Maryanne, Sandra and Janice to do a 'wedding' something. What ever they wanted just as long it related back to wedding. Sandra's is an absolute giggle.

I had a photo shoot this morning. It was lovely to be 'back in the saddle again. I'm out scrapping tonight at Scrapworkz, processing the photo shoot tomorrow, at the circus tomorrow night, staying in Lincoln for Annie's gym comp on Saturday. Sunday will be a day of rest. (fingers crossed). Monday sees fitness class and Camera Club that night.

Hopefully it will rain sometime bloody soon so the men can get back out in the tractors to keep going with seeding. We have stopped now for a number of days as its just too dry. sigh.


Princess Lu the Scatterbrained said...

Tiff, (prepare for rant...)

I have to say that I am guessing (with lots of disclaimers and under the guise of my sometimes ill informed personal opinion) that the crux of your difficulty with your layout perhaps stems from naturally occurring self-depreciation? (but feel free to internet bitch slap me if I am wrong cos I'm only speaking from personal perspective here). Oooh, very buzzword I know. I have been thinking about it lately as well, as I rarely scrap myself but want to very much so my kids have pages about me should anything (heaven forbid, fingers crossed, yadda yadda) happen to me at a young age or unexpectedly. The slant on that comes from losing my mother at 19, with very little warning, and having very few pictures or personal items of hers, and now that I am a scrapper, I have an acute understanding of the value of every little bit and piece of handwriting, picture, personal belonging or ephemera that belonged to a lost loved one (or lack of such from a generation that didn't preserve like we do).

I think (and totally my own opinion here!) the problem lies with the fact that we as scrappers use our art/craft/hobby/whatever to exalt/showcase the people and things in our lives that we are proud of, to present them in the very best light, whether it is true or perhaps a bit fictional, or a mixture of that and reality, and so we feel an almost insurmountable pressure when the focus is then turned inwards. I don't know if it is because we are women and therefore supposedly traditionally in an outwardly caring role and less focused on ourselves, or because we are artists in the public eye (well, anything on the blog is kinda in the public eye lol), or an individual hiccup or crease in our self-esteem no matter how much we deny it (or, I deny it, as it were lol).

Anyway, the essence of that long ramble was that I struggle to scrap myself. If you asked my husband, kids or friends to journal about me, it would probably (hopefully lol) be far more animated, emotive and complimentary about me than I would ever offer if it were to come from me. Call it low self-esteem, shyness, self-depreciation ,modesty or whatever - to try to recreate about ourselves the emotions and feelings those who love us have for us, seems almost bragging, proud, and even up oneself (not that that is a word lol but I'm sure you get what I mean!!!).

In short, I personally don't (for various above such reasons that I am trying to overcome) like to be the one who highlights my best personal attributes, those things I feel are my strengths, those things about myself I truly celebrate, and those things about myself I am proud of. Maybe, as part of our human nature, we feel those attributes are more valuable when discovered by another, rather than ourselves...

Ramble, ramble, bullshit, bullshit, psychobabble, etc...lol

Just my two cents worth but it shouldn't be a struggle to scrap the very best about yourself and yet for so many of us, it is.

Good on you for finishing it!

Cheers, Lu

sandra said...

agree with Lu above..
but for me I'm just bloody glad you had trouble with yours too!! hehe... look forward to your next 'challenge' Tiff...lol
Great layout Tiff...love that wedding photo and love the story.

maryanne r said...

really loverly this one, and another sweet photo.