what the hell happened.

I never want to relive this weekend again. At least the Saturday night version.

After the high of being 'Jacked', (see the previous post) I plummeted to being never so scared in my life.

Kym was away for the weekend and as yet still not home from his trip.

Annie went to bed with a touch of croup.  No big deal. She had a bit of a barky cough and sore throat the night before so I gave her a dose of Redipred then (as I have done in times past) and that usually stops it in its tracks. Annie had a bit of a cough on the Saturday night, again, nothing to be alarmed about. As a precaution I gave her another dose of Redipred.

About 1.30am she woke up in an absolute panic. I was still up in scrap room (office) which is right next to her bedroom door. So I was in there in a flash. She was hot, red, sweaty and clutching her throat. And coughing to the point of throwing up or passing out. And not just any cough. A coarse sand paper throat ripping gagging cough. She couldn't speak as her throat was in spasms. Her eyes were bulging and she looked so damn scared. And yes she was panicking. She couldn't breathe in or out. She had to push and pull air in and out, and work at with mammoth concentration.

I tried putting her on the Neb. The mist gagged her. She couldn't breathe at all with that in her general direction. She's used a nebulizer since forever in her life and she knows what its all about. So having the reaction of tearing it off her face, pushing it away and being so much more frightened because of it, sent huge alarm bells going off in my head.

I threw a bucket her way for when she threw up, got the car out of the car shed and by the front door, woke up Sean from the depths of sleep and belted him into his booster and carried Annie out. I was trying to get her to focus on breathing in and out when I did. Can you imagine coaching your child to breathe. And trying to be calm about it. Kids are very perceptive and believe me, she knew I was scared shitless too.

It normally takes 10mins to get into town. I didn't overly speed to get in there (better to arrive alive) but I did take less then 10. And that was the longest period of time EVER. I had the inside car light on so I could see her and she could see me. Me asking her to breathe in 1, out 2, in 1 out 2. And so I could watch her colour. All the while I was mentally going the ratio of breaths to heart compressions in case I had stop to revive her.

I had rung the hospital as we left and we were met at the door. I watched on while the nurses did consult and looked in absolute horror how much Annie's sternum (breast bone) was contracting into her chest to get her lungs to suck in air. It seems like it was pulling back into her body so far that it should have touched her spine. And her diaphragm was contracting so hard to pull in and push out air. I hope to God I never have to see that again. That is the thing that really sticks in my mind.

After 2 hours of non stop Neb's with O2, and other medications we managed to get her under control and slow her reps down. There was a lot of phlegm vomits to get rid of that nasty stuff out of her little body.

I was told after she had calmed enough to let her sleep a little that if she hadn't responded soon we were going to transferred to Adelaide. I have never been in that situation before and that frightened me a lot too. We have always been able to manage the kids' asthma conditions between home and the Hospital. To think that we may not be able to cope with this locally means that its far more serious than I really want to consider. And to add to it all, I had Sean with me, Kym not home for a few days and he wasn't answering his phone.

I know friends of mine who would have Sean at a drop of a hat, and that was my backup plan. Fortunately I didn't have to ring anyone at 3.30am for their help as Annie started her way back up the hill. Sean, the little gem, would have known that something was up. He was calm and quite chirpy considering he was woken up from being fast asleep. He was lying all curled up in a chair under a rug in the exam room so he could be with Annie. Now and then he would reach over and rub her arm to let her know that he was there. That meant so much to me. In the end he was put into bed in the day surgery ward across the aisle so he could sleep. He did come in twice before he settled to rub her arm again.

I had extremely little sleep on my behalf (about 30 mins maybe) the 3 of us woke up for Sunday. Annie had lost her voice.

Sean went to Modra's for the day. My hugest thanks to Kathy and her family for having him. He's like another brother when he's there and he always has a good time. I managed to get back home to pick up clothes, toothbrushes and other necessities for hospital. I hadn't time to pack anything at all when we went in.

Paige collected Sean later in the arvo to have him overnight in her home with her family. Thanks chick. Love you so much. So does he. (He's discovered Wii Mario Cart while there).

Annie and I slept in the arvo (Sean did too apparently) and we settled into routine obs and meds. Sunday night Annie lost a tooth. She was so excited by this, and wondered if the Tooth Fairy would find her. As her voice wasn't back yet, she whispered her excitement. Nurse Sue *wink* popped the tooth in a little cup, labelled it and gave it to Annie for the anticipated monetary trade. We left a window open so the TF could get in.

And thank goodness she did. The first thing Annie did this morning was check out the cup, and said out loud, "Hey Mum, the tooth fairy came."  Followed by, "Mum so did my voice"

Annie and I picked up Sean after being discharged this morning from the Kelly house. And we have spent a very quite day in front of the air con.

Sean has a very runny nose and is wheezy. So as Annie recovers I start a new battle with Sean's asthma. Hopefully I have hit it hard enough early enough to manage it at home.

Thank you very very much for the txts, FB messages, offers of help. To Jancie and Sarah for visiting and being with Annie so I could pick Sean up from the Modra home, to Kathy for always being there for my kids and to the nursing staff. And Dr Sarah. For not telling me until after, that this was looking bloody serious. I do appreciate that I didn't need to be more alarmed than I already was.

My heartfelt thanks.
tiff